He is Faithful

The last couple of months have been hectic in the Tarno household. I remember about a month ago saying to God "I can't take anything else happening, I am reaching my limit on what I can handle" Then the washing machine goes out and we have to replace it. I say to God again "I really think I am at my maximum of what I can handle, please no more" Another week and a half go by and I am told that I will no longer have a job after two weeks. I thought to myself but didn't directly tell God..how are we going to handle this. I was quickly filled with doubt and discouragement but the Lord spoke to me and said "put your trust in me." Somedays I have been strong and I know without a shadow of a doubt the Lord will provide and that every season has it's purpose. Other days I want to break down and cry because I feel so helpless. So I really thought this was it..I am at the maximum now. Last night we did our taxes and wouldn't you know we owe close to $2000. It punched me in the stomach and I felt so defeated but tried to hide some of it as I watched my husband's concerned face. I stayed at my mom's house a little longer and just talked to her. On the way home and while I tossed and turned trying to go to sleep I realized I have been telling God I can't handle anything else...I am at my maximum and more and more gets put on me. The weight is more than I can take and you know what that is exactly what God wants. He knows we can't do this on our own, He knows that this is more than we can handle...He wants us to give it to him and let him take care of it. He wants me to feel helpless because I am helpless. He wants me to know I can't do this on my own and He is the way, He is how we handle this. So today, I am giving it to God. We will trust in him and bring our burden to Him for HE IS FAITHFUL!!!

Curve Ball or Bump in the road..either way it is change

Well my gut has been telling me that this was coming due to the financial position of my current job and last night I was given notice that I would no longer have a job in two weeks. Though I suspected it was coming it doesn’t soften the blow. Troy and I are turning to God as we embark on this next journey. I have been sending out my resume for a few weeks now and hoping that I will find something soon. I have two interviews scheduled for Monday so that is great news!!

Troy and I have faced many obstacles in our less than 2 year marriage. This will be my second lay off in these two years, my health issues, our financial struggles but God has always seen us through. Last night when I walked in our house and my entire body wanted to break down and cry, my husband grabbed me in his arms and told me everything will be alright as long as we have each other. Those words could not have been more perfect. I have wanted to break down, I have wanted to lose hope but I serve a God who is faithful and never failing. We are putting our trust in Him and know that we are exactly where he wants us. I am going to continue to pray that God will fill me with positive thoughts, his abundance and faithfulness.

Outside of the job situation, Troy and I have decided to put our “attempting pregnancy” on hold. We had decided to start trying in April and now feel that this is not the right time. I can rationalize it but our spirits are broken. This is something we have been looking forward to but at this time I am feeling overwhelmed and lost. I know there is never a perfect time to bring a child into this world but we need to get through this next hurtle first. We will continue to seek God with this decision but until we hear what He wants for us I feel it is best to wait.

I am managing throughout the day and fighting as tears want to fill my eyes. I don't know why this is hitting me so hard. I guess you really can't ever prepare for these things. I just don't like being unstable or unsettled. But I know God has plans for me. This past week I have been stressing out about turning the big 3-0. I haven't wanted to embrace this age change and felt that I was mourning the loss of my 20's. To some of you out there I am sure this just seems ridiculous but for me it was kind of a big deal. With all this comotion going on though turning 30 has become the least of my worries. So I am going to try and embrace them. Maybe this was a sign that there are greater things ahead and God is wanting me to change so drastically that I have to go through this season.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I am grabbing hold of the word and trusting in Him. Our Future is in God's hands...whose better to be in.