I am

I Am a strong, confident, loving, forgiven, God fearing, honest, passionate, creative, WOMAN!!
I Want to grow in my relationship with Jesus, seek his will, love my man each day of my life, start a family, and love myself more daily.
I Have been blessed and forgiven. God has given me another chance at life and has blessed me with an amazing husband and family who loves me and supports me.
I Wish i would have left my previous relationship so that I would have never hurt Troy and would have been happy instead of right.
I Hate that I try to forgive her and not have hatred in my heart but I still carry that anger, I hate that people can not let go and move on, I hate that no matter how much he loves me I still have a hard time accepting his love.
I Fear the Lord.
I Hear God calling for me to be obedient and seek his wisdom, accept his forgiveness and never forget his grace.
I Search for his wisdom, his knowledge and for the answers to make me a better person. I also search for a humble spirit and peace with my past.
I Wonder what Heaven will be like
I Regret nothing!!! Life is what it is, live it and regret nothing. Mistakes make me who I am and confessing my sins keeps me closer to my Lord.
I Love Jesus, Myself, Troy and my family and friends. I love the life I have been given.
I Ache for peace. To be able to truly accept the Lord..'s forgiveness and my forgiveness
I Always do nothing the same. I am a beautiful disaster that keeps you on your toes.
I Usually think and reflect on life and contemplate all the ways that I can better myself.
I Am Not prefect, but I am created in the image of God and loved by him and my sins are washed in the blood of the lamb so that I may live.
I Dance to the song in my heart.
I Sing praises to Lord and the freedom in my soul.
I Never doubt that God is Lord and Jesus is my saviour.
I Rarely turn away from others.
I used to Cry often. I was in touch with my heart and it's true feelings for the first time in years a couple of years ago.
I have been through hell and back but by the grace of God I may live.
I cry over many things but I am no longer afraid to cry and release what is at the core of me.
I Am Not Always quick to forget but I can forgive.
I Lose my way and God's way when I am stuck in self-hatred, I refuse forgiveness, and I run my numbers that keep me stuck in the past
I'm Confused about what my purpose in life is and what direction I should take.
I Need salvation because without mine I am as good as dead.
I Should always turn to God for the answers to life, the direction I need and the love I deserve because of Him.

Forgiveness and soul surgery

Are there things you feel in your heart you cannot forgive yourself for doing? Things you believe or have been led to believe are so horrible that you can never or should never be forgiven for them. It's the major things we consider unforgivable. Things we do when we are at a loss about what to do but are afraid to admit it. There are things that we do without thinking that have a dangerous impact. There are things we do for revenge. These things we consider unforgivable, are the things taht we need to forgive ourselves for doing. the things we hold against ourselves rest heavy on our hearts and eat away at our sense of worth. With an open and willing heart, you can be freed from the prison of self-damnation. Open your heart to yourself, for yourself. If you are a human being, there is something that you need to forgive yourself for.

The way to correction is through the acknowledgment of the truth. The way the Spirit of love and life corrects if through forgiveness.

Many of us have a black hole in our hearts that sucks the fight, the life and the goodness from our lives. Sure there are days when we can laugh and smile and almost convince ourselves and others that life is good. Then, without warning, we are sucked into the black hole of guilt. There may be a black hole in your heart that is full of fear, pain, grief, anger or shame. This is a deep hole! There is only one way to get out and stay out of that black hole. FORGIVENESS!!! Forgive yourself for all the unkind, unloving, unsupportive things that you have thought and done to yourself and others.

Prayer of Forgiveness:

Blessed and Divine Holy Spirit,

Today I forgive myself. I forgive myself for judging my true Self less than a perfect creation of God. I forgive myself for judging myself not good enough. I forgive myself for not sking what I want and what I need. I forgive myself for not asking for your love, your guidance, your grace, your mercy. I forgive myself for believing that I do not deserve to be happy. I forgive myself for judging myself unworthy. I forgive myself for not letting my God-given abilities to shine through. I forgive myself for my desires of the flesh, for living my life in Satan's realm and not in accordance to your divine and Holy Word. I forgive myself for being angry with myself and being angry with others. I forgive myself for the sins that I have professed before you Lord and the sins I accepted your forgiveness for but continually didnt forgive myself for. I ask for and forgive myself for all I have don in violation of your laws. I forgive myself for chosing to live in fear instead of love. I forgive myself for holding on to all the thoughts and feelings that have blinded me, hindered me, kept me trapted in misery and pain. I forgive myself for denying myself the joy of a healthy, safe and loving relationship. I forgive myself unconditionally for anything I have done, in any way I have done it, to deny the prosperous and abundant presence of God's love in my life. I am forgiven and saved by the blood of the lamb, and shown mercy and grace from the Lord my God whom I fear and loves me with all of him.

In your most holy and precious name

Grandparents

I am thankful for all the years & memories with my two grandma's and my grandpa. i am so thankful that I get to continue to make memories with Gma Morris. I love her so much. She has been a tremendous blessing to my life. I just wish she was up the street so I could see her as often as I would like to.

I have been thinking of my Grandma Edwards a lot lately and I miss her so much, her laughter & presence in my life.I know she is reunited with Grandaddy and Jesus and I am thankful that one day I will see them both again. i just wish I had more time but am thankful she is just a memory away.

I found this that I wrote about missing Grandma in Jan of 2008
Today the memory of your presence left my heart broken. You were my happy place. You made every moment with you special. I still laugh at the things you said, the things you did. You always made me smile, you always made me feel loved. We still cry because you aren't here. Mom can't let go, she can't always remember that you are no longer a phone call away. She cries for you often, because without you her soul is broken. You were our hero, you were my perfection of grace and love. I didn't know life without you would be so hard. I keep my memories of you strong, I always keep you in my heart. I still hear you laugh sometimes, I hear it in myself at times. Some say I look like you and I refuse to believe because I can't bear to look at me and see the you that is no longer here. Life with you was such a blessing. God took you away to a better place, he took you in his arms and welcomed you home, but we still miss you. Now you join him and together you two are in eternity, free of pain and in the presence of amazing grace. When I think of me leaving this world, when I think of death, one of my comforts is seeing my grandma and grandpa again.

My New Family

As stated before, I am one lucky girl. Not only did God bless me with a wonderful family, amazing friends, an unbelievable great husband, but my new family puts the icing on the cake. I am so thankful to have Gene and Jill as my parents in love. They have welcomed me into their family and have been such a joy. I love that they teach me about their family and introduce me to new things. Their acceptance really means more to me than I can begin to express. They have loved me and made me feel like their family is where I always belonged. I get teary eyed thinking about it. I am so thankful for all that they have done for me and for Troy. They have taught me a whole other world up in Minnesota from Christmas dinner, to snow mobiling, ice fishing and eating bear. I am grateful for the laughter. I am also grateful for the man they helped Troy become. He never stops amazing me and I know Jill and Gene have a lot to do with who he is. They gave me one of my greatest gifts of all.

I have gained two amazing brothers and sister in loves. Misti and I feel that we were destined to be together being that we both share the name Morris. I am so thankful that when our families all met there was laughter and friendships being formed. I feel like not only was I welcomed in Troy’s family but Misti’s as well. I am so thankful for Steve and Brian’s humor, and making me feel right at home with them. These men have such great character, such loving hearts, and the laughing never ends around the Tarno boys. What a blessing I have with the Tarnowski’s. I am thankful for what our future holds as a family. I can’t wait to grow closer to each of them.

I am so thankful for my nieces and nephew. I love those kids so much. I can say that their parents have done amazing jobs. I am thankful for the time I have had with them. I am also thankful that God has blessed Kati and Brian with a little one on the way. I can’t wait to meet my new niece or nephew and become a big part of their life.

My Big Brother

I am so thankful for my brother. When I was little I wanted to be just like him and that hasn’t changed much now that I have grown up. I am thankful for the great memories we shared together when we were kids. He was my hero. I loved dressing up like super heroes and jumping from couch to couch. I love that he always taught me new things. I am so thankful that he took the time to be a great big brother. I loved how we had clubs for everything, baseball card club, reading club, drawing club, sticker club. I think he used the word club so he didn’t have to admit he wanted to hang out with his baby sister. (Just kidding) He always made things exciting and adventurous. I am thankful that he taught me how to skateboard and built a half pike in our back yard to skate on. I am thankful that when I wanted a pool when I was little he made me one so I could swim and play in it.

Now that I am older I am thankful that he got mad at me when I was a punk teenager. I am thankful that he wanted what was best for me and got angry when I settled. I am thankful that He decided to answer God’s call and become a minister. I know we don’t see eye to eye on everything, but I am grateful that he leads by example and teaches me new things still. I am grateful that he is a wonderful dad and husband; it is awesome to see him in those roles. I am thankful that he is just as powerful now as when we were little and he can still be my hero. I am thankful that He ministers to the world. I am thankful that he is a pistol packing preacher; he is quite fitting of him. I am thankful that through our differences and through our struggles we found forgiveness. I am thankful that he loves me, and is a great support in my life. I am even thankful that he has the need to talk on the phone when he drives and I am one of the people he chooses to call. He makes my day better by calling just to say hi, chit chat, gives me updates with the boys and Torie and tells me he loves me. Big brothers are amazing things, and I have one of the best. Wow am I lucky!! God has been good to me. Jonathan, thank you for everything I don’t tell you enough what an impact you have made in my life. I am so grateful that we have worked on our relationship and grow closer as the years pass. You have been the best big brother and I love you and can’t thank you enough.

My Parents

To the ones who brought me into this world and can bring me out, lol. First and foremost thank you for being Godly parents. I am truly blessed. Thank you for your unconditional love. I have grown up seeing many friends not have parents that will love them no matter what. I am so grateful that even when I seemed to be unlovable you never failed me. I am so grateful that you loved me enough to pray for me. I am thankful for all that you have provided me with, a stable home, a loving home, a warm home, an education, values, morals, support, and wisdom. I hope that one day when I become a parent I can be just like you. I know that I have a great thing when I see some of my friends receiving love from you as if they were your children. You have welcomed many into your lives and shown them a real parent, shown them support and love that they don’t get when they walk into their own home. The two of you are so giving and so generous. I am thankful that we have an open relationship that we can talk about anything. I am thankful that you helped me go to Pathways even when you weren’t sure of what I was doing. I am thankful that you have allowed me time to come to you and open up to you. I grateful for all the family time you provided us with growing up. I am so grateful for the smiles and the laughter. Mom I love all our late night chats and the wisdom you share with me. I am thankful that I saw my parents loving one another, encouraging and supporting one another. I am grateful that I saw you love God, then each other and then your kids. I am thankful for the consistency found in you. Dad, there couldn’t be a better provider, a better leader. You are royalty in my eyes. You give beyond limits, you bless your children. You and mom have always loved us more than we deserved and provided for us more than was needed. I am so thankful to have such amazing and supportive parents who have been such great examples in my life.

Dear God

Dear God,

Where do I begin to start? Before I was even created you loved me and had a plan for my life. Before I was even a thought you laid down your life so that I may live in you. I am so grateful for my salvation. You have guided me through life, and when I left your side, you stayed by mine. Through all the wrong, you have forgiven me Lord. When I no longer felt your presence, when I no longer called your name, you pursued me. You listened to the prayers of my parents and had a hedge of protection around me. When I have fallen to the pits of hell, you pulled me out the pit and saved me. I remember the moment that I needed you more than I even knew at the time and you showed up and held me in your arms and rocked me as I cried out for your mercy, for your love, for your grace, for your forgiveness. I knew then you never left me even though I had forsaken you. I felt your presence, love and forgiveness surround me. I think the words from Phillips Craig and Dean describe best what I experienced that day.

Almighty God, the great I am
Immovable rock, omnipotent, powerful, awesome Lord
Victorious warrior, commanding King of Kings
Mighty conqueror, and the only time
the only time I ever saw Him run

Was when He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said,
“Son do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise when God ran

The day I left home I knew I’d broken His heart
And I wondered then if things could ever be the same
Then one night I remembered His love for me
And down that dusty road ahead I could see
It was the only time – it was the only time I ever saw Him run
And then He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said,
“Son do you know I still love you?”
He caught me by surprise as He brought me to my knees
When God ran – I saw Him run to me
I saw Him run to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice I felt His love for me again
He ran to me, He took me in His arms
Held my head to His chest, said “My son’s come home again”
Lifted my face, wiped the tears from my eyes
With forgiveness in His voice He said, “Son”, He called me Son
He said, “Son do you know I still love you?”
He ran to me and then I ran to Him
When God ran

How can the God of this universe love me so much? I am thankful to be back in the Kingdom of the Lord. I am thankful for all of those who prayed for me. I am grateful that God knew that He would find me when I needed Him most. I am thankful for all the miracles He has blessed me with; all the Love He has given me through Him and through an amazing family. I am thankful that He never fails!!!! I am thankful that I have a God who is all knowing, that is Love, that is faithful, Holy, the Light of the world, merciful, the great deliver, the strong tower, the protector, the judger, the comforter. I am thankful that He allowed me to be born in a country free of oppression and free to worship Him. I am thankful for the Cross. I am thankful for the Blood that cleanses me. I am thankful for the trials I have faced so that I can serve a greater purpose in your Kingdom, Thank you Lord for those trials and the lessons you have taught me. Thank you for giving my pain and my suffering a purpose. Thank you for healing my heart, my wounds. Thank you for instilling life back into me. Thank you for teaching me more and more every day. Thank you for all that you have given to me.

Isaiah 53:6
We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.

My Two Angels

(Joshua and Braeden)

Many times in my life I have acted without a care in the world to my consequences. I chose a life of bad choices and was going in the wrong direction. I had hated who I was to the point of contemplating ending my life.

I am so grateful that I was able to be pulled from the pit and that God love’s me enough to save me and forgive me. There are so many things in life to be thankful for. There was a time in my life that I just really lost hope in God. My life was in shambles and two people whom I loved dearly and who were Godly people struggled to have children. I couldn’t understand at the time how God could allow my brother and sister in law to struggle with multiple miscarriages when so many people I have known get pregnant and have no desire to bring the child to life. Where is the justice in this world? What I didn’t know then is that God had a bigger plan in mind, Joshua.. He is a miracle to so many in my life. The joy he brought to Torie and Jonathan and the joy he brought to my mom and dad, Shirley, Gary and Tim. He was an amazing gift to all who received him. But deep down inside me, he was a huge part in my need to change my life. How can this little life create such a stir in my heart? How can this baby bring such love that I had forgotten existed? I don’t know what it is like to be a parent and I can’t begin to imagine. I look at both of my nephews and am dumbfounded by just how much I love them, how much I would give up for them. How can two little boys be my inspiration? I have never felt love they way I feel for them. They bring so much joy and happiness to my life. I hate that I am so far away from them but I cherish each second I get with them. I knew God had a great gift for my brother and sister in love, but I never imagined the gift he was giving me as well. I am beyond grateful for Joshua and Braeden. They say some of the sweetest things. Joshua amazes me with how smart he is, how he can master so many things in front of him. He has such a loving spirit. Braeden is my snuggle bug, he is my mini me and it is so special to share so many things with him. He is creative and loving and the kid makes you laugh for days, he definitely has character. I am so grateful that I am an Aunt to two amazing little boys. I am so thankful that they are raised in a Christian home and have already demonstrated their eagerness to know God and love God. The make my heart soar and smile. I am so lucky two be a part of their lives, what a blessing my two little miracle angels are. I love them so much and I love that because of them I continually want to grow. Thank you God for Joshie and Brae, they have made my life so much greater.

Troy

Very Thankful for Troy
Not to long ago in my past, I sold myself short when it came to relationships. I was so broken in the inside that I would settle for those I dated. I didn’t command respect or feel I deserved to be loved and cherished. Pathways helped me overcome the negative thoughts I had about myself and made me realize what I truly wanted in all areas of my life and what I deserved. After I regained the true me, I wanted a strong marriage. I wanted a strong partner. I grew up watching two wonderful parents and wished if I could only have a taste of that I would be blessed. I've always been someone who was passionate in my beliefs. I am strong in many areas, but those strengths can sometimes be a flaw in that I tend to steamroll over people who don't have the strength to stand up to me and as my mother says, I don’t always know when to keep my mouth shut. I wanted a spouse who was strong enough to stand up to me and who would be equally strong in their support of me. All of you who know me know I can be a lot to handle.
I'm lucky and I'm grateful, I got what I wished for. My husband's strengths complement my own. He gives me support, he loves me unconditionally, he stands beside me and he gives me a swift kick when I need it. He takes care of me, he lets me vent and actually listens and he forgives me. I am thankful for my husband and I'm thankful for the future I will have with him. I love that he is eager to start a family, and wants nothing more than to be a great husband to me and a great father when children come in to our lives. I love that we have both made mistakes in our relationship but loved each other enough to get through and we can both look back and regret some of our choices but be thankful for where they have lead us in our journey together. Forgiveness is not easy, but it is the glue that has held us together. I can be myself, I can be the goofy girl, the serious girl, the over analytical girl, the emotional charged girl. I can show my flaws and he loves me and accepts me. We know the ghosts in the closet, we know each others demons. Knowing that and being completely transparent has been a tremendous gift to our relationship. I am so grateful that my husband can look at me and say with 100% honesty you are all that I want and more than I need, nothing will ever change that.
We're not perfect, we're far from ideal and we're not always going to get it right. But we do learn from our mistakes and we find new ways to make each other smile. We have just begun our journey as husband and wife, but what a great start we have had! He's my best friend. He's the person I want to talk to when things go wrong. He's the one I want to talk to when things go right. He's the one I want to talk to no matter what. I remember a time when I was upset with him and I got so mad because I didn’t know how to talk to him about him…I just always go to him for everything. There is no way to say thank you enough. God has truly blessed me. As my Papi Jack said at our rehearsal dinner, “God is still in the miracle business.” Troy and I are both walking and breathing examples of God’s grace, mercy, forgiveness, love and Miracles. He restored two “damaged goods”, erased the pain, the guilt, the shame, and instilled in us His word and His truth. God is good and he got Troy and I both to where we are today. I am very grateful and thankful for my husband and know that he is truly my gift from God; he was uniquely created for me.

Everybody was Kung Fu Fighting

So Briley took first place in his Karate Tournament. So wish I could have been there to witness that. PROUD AUNTIE coming through. I am super excited for him, that is such a great accomplishment.

GO BRILEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!