FaceBook Syndrome

I have heard so many people say recently that they are ok with where their lives but they can’t believe how far behind or how different their lives are from FaceBook friends.. In a way I can see where they are coming from but then other times I just want to scream are you kidding me. FaceBook is just like Hollywood, chances are it’s only the good stuff they show and there are a lot a fake people out there. Who really puts on their FaceBook wall, life would be better if my husband didn’t beat me every day, or so Happy my wife had an affair, or my child is a drug addict, or we are filling bankruptcy but still living as though we are keeping up with the Jones’s. Let’s get real, we put the things that are good, we put the things we don’t mind the whole world knowing, and there are a select few that put some hard realities on FaceBook. I have come to be happy where I am at. Did I get married at 28 and my husband was 38, yes. Are we now 30 and 40 with no children, yes. Do we live in a townhouse because we can’t afford to have a house in the neighborhoods we would prefer to live in, yes. Do I care that someone I went to highschool with has been married for 8 years and has 3 kids no, it’s not my life nor is it where I am supposed to be. If I had gotten married out of high school or in college, I would now be divorced or a single mom and I am not. I met my husband when I was 23, and I was in no shape to get married. Yes, sometimes we wish things were better, or certain life events didn’t happen but just because someone else “seems” to have it all together, you don’t know what they are going through or have been through. I am not trying to walk in someone else’s shoes, mine or worn and weathered but they are perfect. I had a rough road to where I am but my Lord and Savior rescued me and has blessed me more than I could ever ask or deserve. Even along the broken road I made some amazing friends and still have some great memories. I have a husband that is my best friend, someone I love with all my heart, but have had my own struggles with and vice versa and I couldn’t imagine my life with anyone else. People let’s stop comparing ourselves to others and learn to be content with where God has us. Even if you are in the middle of a storm right now, God is good, and who knows what the other side of it is going to look like. I got one of my greatest blessings through the storms of my life and that was my testimony and next my husband. I don’t regret what has happened in my life because God has taught me some amazing things and has given me a ministry out of my misery. I choose not to get swallowed alive by the FaceBook syndrome and accept things how they are in my own little reality. We are doing just fine!!!

All things really are possible

We fade away into life sometimes, disappearing in the everyday hustle and bustle. Some days I am so encouraged and step out in Faith and others I am defeated. My walk with God has been peaks and valleys, on and off but more and more I am learning how important the daily time with him is. Some recent events in my family’s life has brought me to a new place with God. He is showing me just how important my relationship is with him, and just how important being more like him is. I have heard him speak to me and think back and see how much I missed along the way. I know he has been talking all the while but my ears fell deaf to his words. He is stirring in my heart for preparation. He is reminding me that I need to be suited in his armor, and that though I don’t always realize that we are in a spiritual battle, the battle is swinging into full force and I need to be ready. He has reminded me to be thankful for where I have been and where I am now and that through Him ANYTHING REALLY IS POSSIBLE.
An old hymnal is playing in my head….Trust and obey for there is no other way to be Happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey

God Speaks!!

GOD SPEAKS!!
Hearing God’s voice has been somewhat Foreign to me. But recently He has got my attention. I have realized what a blessing it truly is to hear from God. Some of the ways he has spoken to me have been interesting but others blow my mind. God you have my attention. I am completely humbled, though some of His words bring about an abundance of emotions, good and bad I feel so amazed. Some of his revelations have brought clarity and healing. Sunday at Church was very hard, the end of service brought me to sobbing tears, but God gave me major confirmation through Pastor John. I have been wrestling with what God has been telling me, part of it because it’s not my life, my issue but indirectly I know it affects me too. I thought I can encourage God, but I don’t want to be pushy, I can prepare God, but I don’t want to insist. But Sunday was the confirmation that this needs to happen and now is the time, that I have to pray that others will be open to being obedient and I have to encourage them to be obedient to what God is telling me for their life. That is scary to me, but I know why He is pushing me and whispering to me. I am just so grateful for His words, and I am trusting Him with what lies ahead.

As we sing in church, if God is for me than who can be against me

He is Faithful

The last couple of months have been hectic in the Tarno household. I remember about a month ago saying to God "I can't take anything else happening, I am reaching my limit on what I can handle" Then the washing machine goes out and we have to replace it. I say to God again "I really think I am at my maximum of what I can handle, please no more" Another week and a half go by and I am told that I will no longer have a job after two weeks. I thought to myself but didn't directly tell God..how are we going to handle this. I was quickly filled with doubt and discouragement but the Lord spoke to me and said "put your trust in me." Somedays I have been strong and I know without a shadow of a doubt the Lord will provide and that every season has it's purpose. Other days I want to break down and cry because I feel so helpless. So I really thought this was it..I am at the maximum now. Last night we did our taxes and wouldn't you know we owe close to $2000. It punched me in the stomach and I felt so defeated but tried to hide some of it as I watched my husband's concerned face. I stayed at my mom's house a little longer and just talked to her. On the way home and while I tossed and turned trying to go to sleep I realized I have been telling God I can't handle anything else...I am at my maximum and more and more gets put on me. The weight is more than I can take and you know what that is exactly what God wants. He knows we can't do this on our own, He knows that this is more than we can handle...He wants us to give it to him and let him take care of it. He wants me to feel helpless because I am helpless. He wants me to know I can't do this on my own and He is the way, He is how we handle this. So today, I am giving it to God. We will trust in him and bring our burden to Him for HE IS FAITHFUL!!!

Curve Ball or Bump in the road..either way it is change

Well my gut has been telling me that this was coming due to the financial position of my current job and last night I was given notice that I would no longer have a job in two weeks. Though I suspected it was coming it doesn’t soften the blow. Troy and I are turning to God as we embark on this next journey. I have been sending out my resume for a few weeks now and hoping that I will find something soon. I have two interviews scheduled for Monday so that is great news!!

Troy and I have faced many obstacles in our less than 2 year marriage. This will be my second lay off in these two years, my health issues, our financial struggles but God has always seen us through. Last night when I walked in our house and my entire body wanted to break down and cry, my husband grabbed me in his arms and told me everything will be alright as long as we have each other. Those words could not have been more perfect. I have wanted to break down, I have wanted to lose hope but I serve a God who is faithful and never failing. We are putting our trust in Him and know that we are exactly where he wants us. I am going to continue to pray that God will fill me with positive thoughts, his abundance and faithfulness.

Outside of the job situation, Troy and I have decided to put our “attempting pregnancy” on hold. We had decided to start trying in April and now feel that this is not the right time. I can rationalize it but our spirits are broken. This is something we have been looking forward to but at this time I am feeling overwhelmed and lost. I know there is never a perfect time to bring a child into this world but we need to get through this next hurtle first. We will continue to seek God with this decision but until we hear what He wants for us I feel it is best to wait.

I am managing throughout the day and fighting as tears want to fill my eyes. I don't know why this is hitting me so hard. I guess you really can't ever prepare for these things. I just don't like being unstable or unsettled. But I know God has plans for me. This past week I have been stressing out about turning the big 3-0. I haven't wanted to embrace this age change and felt that I was mourning the loss of my 20's. To some of you out there I am sure this just seems ridiculous but for me it was kind of a big deal. With all this comotion going on though turning 30 has become the least of my worries. So I am going to try and embrace them. Maybe this was a sign that there are greater things ahead and God is wanting me to change so drastically that I have to go through this season.

Jeremiah 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

I am grabbing hold of the word and trusting in Him. Our Future is in God's hands...whose better to be in.

Clean Eating

So I have started to invest in my health more so than ever. I really want to be an overall healthy person. I want to loose weight but do it a healthy natural way. I had been a huge WW fan until I realized how much they promote processed foods. I know you can do their plan anyway you choose but I just felt this time around that wouldn't be the route for me. I started seeing a Nutrionalist who has been my doctor in the past for all the crazy intestional/digestive issues I have had and am now doing a raw/healthy lifestyle. I mainly eat vegetables, fruits, lean proteins, nuts/seeds, oils, and legumes. It really hasn't been as hard as I thought. I miss the snacking on something crunchy other than veggies and of course my dairy but I will only be missing the dairy until I get a large portion of the weight off then will slowly introduce it back into my lifestyle. I have felt so much better and am really encouraged. I am not only trying to regain health by loosing weight but I am feeding my body with what it needs and what will help my internal body regain health. I am on week three and have done one weigh in so far a week ago and lost 9 pounds, it was a great start. Really excited to see how this whole things turns out

Somebody help me decorate my house!!!

So I have always wanted a cool, trendy, modern, with maybe a hint of vintage in my house. God so did not gift me with style so I am looking to others for their creativity and hopefully one day will be able to have a house that I love.

So here are some few things I have run across that I want to use as my inspiration.






I love the pop of color that these chairs bring. It takes an ordinary brown table from dull and nothing exciting to WOW!!



So this chair has my name written all over it, now just to find one somewhere and hope I can afford it then convince my hubby that it would be a perfect addition to our home






Love these too, I think I can pull this off with some things I already have.

I Sought Love

Found this the other day...(don't know when I wrote this)

I first sought love to fill a void
A void that penetrated deep within my heart
A heart broken from unhappiness

I sought love to experience compassion- to gain serenity
And peace of mind

I sought love to rid my soul of loneliness
Loneliness that darkened clouds and dampened spirits

I sought love to experience a mystical existence- to enjoy the bliss of ecstacy and be overwhelmed in delight

I found love from the first sweet taste of your lips on mine
I found love in the happiness you brought and in the experience of your very being
I found love when you took me away in those passionate moments and let me get a glimpse of heaven
I found love that brightened my once darkened skies, a love that makes me higher than any mountains peak
I found love in a man whom I adore
I found love when I found you

I am the "Sick Girl"

I have recently noticed that everytime I see someone the first thing they ask me is "how are you feeling" Though I really do appreciate the care and concern I am really not liking being the sick girl. I have spent the last 5 years dealing with crazy health issues. I hate that I get sick, I hate that I have been sick and I hate that while in the process of healing I will continue to be sick.

I have found a wonderful Doctor, she is like a whole new world to me. I call her my voodoo Doctor. I never really thought to go the natural route but I truly am a believer in holistic healing. Life has been much better since meeting the voodoo doctor. I went from being so sick, not being able to eat anything, my body storing everything I ate because it was in constant starvation mode, being deathly ill because of toxins and parasites that were running rampid inside of me. Though the first couple of times meeting with this doctor I was horrified to find out what was wrong we have made tremendous progress. I can eat, and now I choose to eat a raw clean healthy diet. Everything I put in my body is fresh, I try and avoid processed foods all together and I am feeling great. The problem is I am still "sick" girl.

I will always have migraines, there is no cure, there is only constant modification, trial and error. I wish I could find relief but I am so grateful with how far I have come. I will continue the path to less frequent occurences as well as I can.

But sometimes I just want to scream really I am getting healthy...I feel so much better than I ever have and I am a work in progress. Though I hit rough spots with my migraines and catch a cold or two I am on the mend and for that I am grateful....Now if I can just loose the title of "SICK GIRL"

God's greatest gifts come in unique packages

It's nice to be reminded how wonderful life is. Everytime I get the chance to visit with my nephews, my heart is filled with overwhelming happiness. I have yet to experience what it feels like to be a parent, but I can say being an AUNTIE is one of life's greatest gifts. I am truly blessed to be the Aunt to some amazing little people. It makes me wonder how great God must feel when he looks down at all his sons and daughters. I have the priveledge to watch these little miracles grow and I consider myself super lucky to have these wonderful boys in my life.